Oh, the herp derp of this story, courtesy of a “staff writer” at 9-5 Mac: No Microsoft products were reported stolen.  Yeah, yeah, tee-hee, someone broke into a Microsoft office and stole some iPads.  Tee-hee, Microsoft has iPads, tee-hee they didn’t steal any MS products.

Except, of course, you could bother to take advantage of the knowledge that SVC Building 5 is where the Apple Productivity Experiences team (that is, the team formerly known as the Macintosh Business Unit, my former team) lives.  And presuming that this was just a theft of opportunity, Building 5 is a good one for opportunity.  Its main entrance faces US-101, and doesn’t have a single external door that’s visible from La Avenida (which is its street address).  It’s immediately next to the VTA bus depot.  According to the article, the theft occurred during the holiday week, and that campus was probably all but deserted that week.  There’s no signs of a break-in, which means that it was probably either someone who has physical access to the building (anyone with a current MS badge, which includes employees, contractors, security guards, the catering staff, etc), or someone who tailgated someone with a badge.  So someone got into the building, saw small items that are very easy to walk off with, and did so.

In other words: if you’re gonna make Microsoft jokes, at least make sure that they’re not lame ones.  Breaking into a Microsoft building and having Apple products stolen is an easy joke to make, which means that it’s just lame.  Stop being lame, people.  Herp derp.