There’s always a difficult colleague. When trying to understand how to work with that difficult colleague, I think of the jerk matrix.

The jerk matrix is something that I came up with a few years ago when I worked with a particular cluster of difficult colleagues. I realized that some knew that they were being difficult, but others didn’t. I further realized that some cared that they were being difficult, while others did not. The matrix helped me better understand the difference between them, and to come up with coping strategies.

Those who don’t care that they’re difficult are, simply put, assholes. The difference between knowing and not knowing is whether they’re an outright asshole or an oblivious asshole.

Most importantly, the jerk matrix helped me understand when someone is difficult but working on it. If they both know and care, they’re awkwardly improving. They’re on the road to recovering from being a difficult colleague. On the other hand, someone who cares but doesn’t know that they’re being difficult is simply oblivious. They could get on that road to recovering if they can find enough self-awareness to know when they’re being a jerk.

Another good use of the jerk matrix is if you have that group of difficult colleagues. If you map where they fall on this matrix, you might find that they cluster in one quadrant. In that case, you’ve identified a failure mode of your company or team. It’s worthwhile to consider whether there’s a cultural problem that causes people to become that difficult colleague, or whether the culture has something that makes it attractive to people who are already that difficult colleague.